Prom season is here, and with it the tradition of promposals—creative, and occasionally extreme, ways by which students ask each other to the dance. What was once a simple “Will you go to prom with me?” has become more elaborate, complete with signs, performances, and occasionally even pets as props. The role of social media in boosting these acts has made them more popular than ever, leading to people questioning whether or not these acts of creativity have any significance or are just a form of social pressure.
In the past, promposals were simply a phone call or a written note. However, over time, especially with the rise of platforms such as TikTok and Instagram, promposals have grown more complex. Nowadays, students may take weeks planning, coordinating with friends and family, and may even hire professional help. Publicity of viral promposals that sometimes feature elaborate surprises has created high expectations about what makes a promposal, which might make some believe that just asking is not enough. To others, promposals are a playful and creative way to express they care or to show themselves.
For some students, promposals serve as a fun and creative way to express affection or showcase their personalities. Whether it’s puns, personalized posters or creative performances, these promposals provide individuals with the means to put their own spin to a long-standing custom. Students may see them as an opportunity for them to let their creativity shine and add a bit of themselves into the prom mix. For others, even the fact that promposals are public activities, typically shared on social media, adds to the excitement factor. However, the growing trend of extravagant promposals has also led to some concerns.
Rachel Owensby (12) says she believes social pressure to have a memorable or dramatic promposal can be overwhelming for some students, especially those who may want to keep things low-key.
“I think they do put pressure on students, especially the person asking because they want to make sure everything goes perfectly. It’s also expected for people in relationships to ask each other, and some people may not want to do that,” Owensby said.
Additionally, the expectation to go all out might create anxiety, particularly the fear of rejection in public. The expense of elaborate promposals—flowers, props or even the use of a professional photographer—increases the pressure, particularly when students already must contend with the cost of attending prom, such as buying tickets, clothing and arranging transportation.
Kenny Le (10) says he believes that promposals should be more sincere and not as flashy.
“I believe they are more about the significance. No one wants to see someone put their heart and soul into a poster just for them to decline,” said Le.
While some argue that the elaborate gestures distract from the personal meaning of a promposal, others believe that these acts are simply an extension of tradition and a way to make the event even more memorable. The most elaborate promposals might be seen by some to stand out and make the moment feel extra special, while others may feel that simpler approaches are more sincere.
Kylie Painter, a Spanish teacher and student council administrator, recalled her favorite promposal she was involved in.
“The best I have ever been a part of was when I had a male student ask me to dim the hallway lights during class change. Once the lights were off, everyone was wondering what was going on, and he came out from around the corner with his guitar and sang “Beautiful” by Ed Sheeran and then got down on one knee and asked her to prom. Everyone turned on the flashlights on their phone and were swaying back and forth. If I had been the girl being asked, I can assure you I would have cherished that moment,” Painter said.
The debate over promposals ultimately depends on perspective. For some, tradition is an exciting way to celebrate prom and be creative. To others, it becomes a source of stress and pressure. What remains clear is that promposals, whether big or small, are a widely recognized part of high school life. With prom season approaching, it’s appropriate to consider just how much weight should be attached to the way promposals are performed rather than the occasion itself.
